3 Signs someone is likely talking behind your back.

-They’re friendly when they’re alone with you but when they’re in a specific group of people they ignore you.

Someone may be more comfortable expressing genuine feelings or opinions when they’re alone with you but when they’re in a specific group of people they may feel the need to impress or fit in, which could resort to more calculated or even manipulative tactics. Ignoring you is also a subtle form of exclusion. It can signal a sign that they feel uncomfortable or even threatened by your presence - which can stem from jealousy, competition, or a desire to maintain a certain image in front of a certain group of people. If someone is also actively spreading negative information about you, they also may be hesitant to speak with you for fear of being exposed.

-Pay attention to how their friends treat you.

Friends and kids often mimic the attitudes and behaviors of their friends and parents, so if they are cold or distant with you, this could signal how this other person feels about you.

-Pay attention to their body language.

When you’re around you may notice that they look at you and they look at the person they were just talking to - you may notice smirks, glances, snickers, or side eye.  When someone has been speaking negatively about you, they may feel guilty or embarrassed when they see you. And this can look like nervous laughter, avoidance of eye contact, or looking away from you. These are also forms of hidden aggression, as a way to assert dominance or control without directly confronting you. The smirks, glances, and snickers may indicate a sense of superiority or disrespect.

While these are red flags that someone may be talking behind your back, please be mindful there will be nuances so be mindful of the specific context.

Need more help navigating relationships or confronting someone that may talking behind your back, book a 1:1 with me by heading to book a session tab above.

Xo,
Dr. C