3 comebacks to you when someone says you look good for your age.

This response while mostly well intentioned is a backhanded compliment, if you do tend to be surprised by someones age, drop off the: “for your age” part and try: “you look good!”

As for the responses on what to say, you can try:

-Everyone ages differently.

This response implies a standard of aging that everyone should conform to and when you respond this way, you’re challenging this assumption. You’re also emphasizing that everyone is unique and should steer away from age-based comparisons.

-What age is that?

This response works because you’re able to assert your worth while challenging the underlying ageism in the backhanded compliment.

-Thank you.

While a more direct response might be more satisfying in the moment, a simple “thank you” can often be the most effective way to handle a backhanded compliment with grace and dignity. You’re also thanking them for showing you who they really are.

Need more help with assertive communication or relationships? Book a 1:1 with me by heading to the Book a session tab above.

Xo,
Dr. C