3 comebacks to use when they say “I never said that” & are gaslighting you.

3 comebacks to use when they say “I never said that” & are gaslighting you.

-Be more clear next time.

This response can be disarming and subtly implies that the communication breakdown was their fault. It helps set a boundary by stating a clear expectation for future communication and that you won’t tolerate being misled. You also maintain calm and avoid escalating the situation, which is crucial when dealing with a gaslight. It also undermines their control, challenges their narrative and reinforces your confidence in your own reality.

-That’s what I heard.

This assertive response helps you maintain your stance without becoming defensive or accusatory while forcing the other person to either continue with gaslighting or clarify their position. It’s simple and direct and there’s no room for misinterpretation and it avoids escalating the situation. It also preserves your sanity while protecting your well-being.

-We remember things differently.

This response helps acknowledge their denial without directly accusing them of lying. It implies your memory is valid and that you are not imagining things. It helps shift the focus away from proving your point and towards the subjectivity of your memory while opening the door for further discussion if the other person is willing to engage in a respectful conversation.

Need more help with assertive communication or relationships? Book a 1:1 with me by heading to the Book a session tab above.

Xo,
Dr. C