3 comebacks to use when they’re talking behind your back/ gossiping about you.

3 comebacks to use when they’re talking behind your back.

-I heard my name come up in conversation, I’d prefer not to be discussed in conversations when I’m not a part of it. If you’re truly concerned, let’s talk about it openly.

This response acknowledges awareness without drama or being confrontational. You’re stating a fact, which discourages denial or deflection because they know you know. It sets a clear boundary and signals self-respect, and gives them a way to save face by giving them a mature way to bring up any concerns directly instead of gossiping.

-I heard that you said XYZ, I value our relationship, and I’d like to understand your perspective.

This response directly and constructively addresses the gossip without resorting to accusations or blame. You’re able to preserve the relationship while emphasizing the value of it to create an opportunity for open communication. It also invites the other person to explain their perspective, which can de-escalate the situation while also setting a clear boundary for future interactions. Using this response helps you take control of the situation, demonstrates maturity and creates an opportunity for resolution.

-Say nothing, and let them watch you succeed.

This response is a powerful yet subtle response to someone talking behind your back. You focus on your action instead of your reaction and shifts the attention from the gossip to your own accomplishments. It also implies that you’re secure in your abilities and unbothered by negativity - which is usually what fuels gossip. You also prove them wrong since success is often the best rebuttal to gossip and criticism and is a strategy that can be particularly satisfying when executed successfully.

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Xo,
Dr. C