3 responses to use with a friend that isn’t supportive of you when you share good news.

-I’m a little confused by your reaction.

This response directly acknowledges their unexpected reaction and it opens the door for a conversation about it in a way that is less confrontational and non-accusatory. This helps maintain a positive relationship and avoids damaging it.

-I was hoping you’d be a little more supportive, Is something going on?

This response is direct and invites the other person to share their perspective. Phrasing it this way also assumes their lack of support is due to something going on in the other person’s life, as opposed to a deliberate attempt to hurt you and communicates the expectation that a friend should be supportive, which can prevent future misunderstandings.

-Say nothing & walk away from the relationship.

Distancing yourself from someone who CONSISTENTLY is unable to be supportive of you may be beneficial. Continuing to engage with someone who either brings you down, ignores, or changes the topic when you share good news can negatively impact you. When you distance yourself, you are setting boundaries and are asserting your worth, as you deserve to be around people that uplift and support you. And when you remove yourself from negative relationships, you can create space for healthier and more supportive friendships in your life.

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Xo,
Dr. C