3 comebacks to use when someone is lying to you

3 comebacks to use when someone is lying to you:

-Get them to laugh first then question them about what you think they’re lying to you about.

Laughing can lower your inhibitions, making it harder to censor your thoughts and feelings and making it more likely that they will be honest with you. Also the shift from laughter to questioning can be unexpected, potentially catching the person off guard and making it more difficult for them to maintain the lie. Be mindful to use this technique ethically and with respect for the other person’s feelings, also make sure your laughter is genuine and not that you’re mocking or belittling someone.

-Say: Something feels off about this.

This response acknowledges that you have a sense that something isn’t right, even if you’re not sure of the what and why. You’re asserting your own feelings, are implying a lack of trust, and that you’re not fully convinced of their story. Stating your feelings this way encourages the person to clarify their statements or provide more information without a direct accusation.

-Say: I’m getting a different impression. What can I do to help you feel more comfortable talking to me?

This response allows you to address the lie while also creating a safe safe for the listener and is more effective than a direct accusation and can lead to a more productive conversation. This would work on someone that is feeling shy, embarrassed, or afraid to tell you the truth and shows them that you’re open to hearing their perspective to feel supported (i.e., teacher/parent/child relationship). This wouldn’t work with someone who is deliberately lying and not interested in being honest.

Need more help navigating relationships or looking for support in coming up with assertive responses for difficult scenarios, book a 1:1 with me by heading to the book a session tab above.

Xo,

Dr. C