3 comebacks to use when someone says “You’ve gained weight"
3 comebacks to use when someone says “You’ve gained weight"
-What made you say that
Are you trying to be helpful, or are you just putting me on the spot.
-Would you be okay if I commented on your body like that?
For a more in depth explanation, read below:
People comment on weight for many reasons - insecurity, cultural conditioning, or just plan lack of tact. Your response should match the situation. If it was casual, keep it light; if it was pointed, set a boundary. Confidence is key - the less reactive you are, the less control they have over your emotions.
Here are 3 examples of what you can say:
-What made you bring that up?
This response forces the person to justify their comment, shifts the pressure back onto them instead of making you defend yourself - often making them realize they had no reason for saying it.
Use with: When colleagues/acquaintances/ family members make an unnecessary remark and don’t realize their comments are rude and you want to stay neutral but firm.
-Are you trying to be helpful, or are you just putting me on the spot?
This response forces their intentions to be clear and calls them out. It makes the person think about their actual motive, keeps you in control of the conversation, and gives them an out to rethink what they just said.
Use with: People who disguise judgment as ‘concern,’ passive aggressive family members who make weight comments under the guise of caring, and in situations where you want them to backpedal without escalating.
-Would you be okay if I commented on your body like that?
This response forces empathy without being aggressive and makes them think twice before making a similar comment again.
Use with: Friends or family who don’t realize how uncomfortable their words are, anyone who needs to experience their own comment from a different perspective, and in social situations where you want them to be reconsider their words without a full confrontation.
Freeze up in social settings or want to learn how to be more assertive? Book a 1:1 with me by heading to the Book a session tab above.
Xo,
Dr. C